*Skip down to "THE QUESTION" if you're in a hurry!
Picture if you will... a ship, sailing in the night, carrying hundreds of copies of a much-anticipated game across the swaying seas, to be delivered into the hands of eager kickstarter backers.
In a far-off land, a designer fitfully paces the creaking floorboards of his sleeping chamber, trying desperately to recall the wording on that one, seemingly insignificant card...
And then, all at once, the memory returns. The card reads:
Zealous Squire:
During your action phase, you may attach a melee weapon to Zealous Squire.
The implications strike him like a thunderbolt. He falls to his knees in anguish, bellowing to the heavens...
"ONE! He can only hold ONE!!!!!"
For all the days of his life, he is haunted by internet posts about "The Squire of 1,000 swords" whose whirling blades cut a swath of destruction across the land, felling men, orcs, and even dragons, with a single roll of the dice...
This is my greatest fear; and if you've ever played Yu-Gi-Oh! or Magic The Gathering, you know that I'm not the only one. Some of the wording on these cards can get ridiculous in their attempt to convey a difficult idea, or patch up exploits before they happen. Clairty via unintelligibility -- whatever it takes to stop the opportunist in his tracks! This is the motto of the wary designer.
THE QUESTION:
I'm struggling with one particular phrase right now. It's a benign example, but I was wondering if you guys know a better way to say it:
"During your turn, you may attach and/or detach one Materials card to/from this card. This card may only have one Materials card attached at a time."
I don't like the "and/or" and "to/from." It's a grammatical necessity with "attach" and "detach" and I don't how else to say it. I also don't like "...attached at a time" but that's nitpicking. The whole sentence just rubs me the wrong way.
I'm trying to say that this card can hold 1 Materials card, and that you may attach 1 Materials card to it on your turn. Naturally, if you wanted to change the attached card, you would have to detach the one that was already there, so I'm letting you know you can do that too.
If you made it this far, I'm much obliged. Thank you!
I like Keywords a lot, and I think you have one of two options with them:
1. The Keyword chosen is so self-explanatory that after one quick glance at the rulebook or reference sheet, they remember it forever.
Heal: 2
"Heal" means that the card recovers HP equal to the value indicated. Done.
2. As you demonstrated, explain the rule after the Keyword. When the player recognizes it, they needn't read further, but if they forgot, the explanation is right there. Love this approach too.