Suggestions requested for a Kickstarter page

Morning Joe,

(I'm going to let the KS vets focus on the videos, arrangement of data, and other such details.)

1. The bold black fat font must go.

2. I'll be happy to edit, tweak and tighten the text throughout, (talk to evansmind244 for a recommendation) if you send me a file as I cannot select and copy from the page. My biggest concern right now is the ratio of information--specifically game to everything else (backstory etc.). The font exacerbates this problem.

The game looks clean, quick, simple, and well-tested: happy to help make your pitch reflect that.

Hey Joe

Here are my thoughts:

• The order of information in the video is confusing. You start by introducing the game and yourself. Then you give the brief elevator pitch. Then you give the backstory of how you came up with the game idea. Then you go further into the game. This doesn't flow well.
• In the video, you mention the game has a great deal of replayability, is easy to learn, and fun to play. I'd let the game speak for itself, instead of trying to state your own, subjective opinions.
• To be honest, the video looks like it was done by an amateur. And that hurts the appearance and sale of your game.

I didn't go through the entire KS page, but I would highly recommend consulting with someone who has experience with successful Kickstarters.

I don't mean any disrespect, but want your game to be the most successful it can. In my opinion, the quality of your video will detract from your ability to get backers.

Please keep us in the loop. Best of luck!
David

Awesome! Keep us in the loop.

Just wanted to say the page is looking SO much better with the regular font. :-)

Keep up the good work!

What kind of engineering are you in? I'm an environmental engineer, so I understand. Graphics are definitely not my forte.

You are doing this for all of the RIGHT reasons. The number one reason you should do something is because you want to. Too many people don't do the things they want out of fear of rejection or public perception.

So I commend you greatly for knowing your limitations and taking the time, energy, and resources to do what you love. Seriously, kudos to you. That is inspirational!

There's nothing wrong with being out of your depth in Kickstarter. No one would expect everyone to be good at everything. The best part of our industry is that there are a lot of people who know a lot about Kickstarter, so you are doing the right thing by seeking advice.

Now, I also don't know that much about Kickstarter, so most of my advice is very basic. Which is why my recommendations are moreso to find the people that do know.

We all want to publish our own games. And we all want the industry to grow and succeed. And we all recognize that when we help others, they are likely to return the favor.

It's not as selfish as it sounds, honestly, but we definitely want you to succeed. Best of luck!
David