Would love feedback on my Sell Sheet for GenCon

(No particular order)

1. Consider cutting the text in half--at the very least.

(Off the cuff)

Managing tale decks, players use a black-jack like press-your-luck mechanic allows players to [Any specific examples?]

2. Also, with the two sided cards, are they simply level increases or significant transformations. If the latter, a few words would convey a great deal thematically.

3. Classic Fairy-tale characters. Understandable why mentioning Grimm, Perrault etc., might actually suggest limitations, but is there any way you could suggest the range, if it is impressive. Do the sources reach Russia? Scandinavia? Elsewhere?

As a suggestion, in the first paragraph, there is no need to repeat the name of the game directly below the Header. It seems out of place to promote the use of classic fairytale characters, then claim they are unique. The learn and play time should just be in the bullet points, so we're left with, and apologies for putting words in your mouth, this sentence:

"Classic fairytale characters venture deep into the misty woods in search of treasure, with each step more dangerous than the last!"

Now the second half of this sentence is a bit too generic, so I think a specific danger is required here, and really, I think you should be stating the Objective of the game as it might be stated in your rule book. What am I trying to do? Or if collecting the treasure is the goal of the game, what is trying to stop me from doing that? So maybe tighten up that first part a little, and again apologies for writing directly:

"Play as (or "Control"?) classic fairytale characters (heroes?), searching for treasure deep within the misty woods, whilst (defeating bad guys/overcoming difficulties/etc)."

And I notice it is 2 OR 4 players. Is it cooperative in someway that requires teams of 2? Or does each Hero need a corresponding villain to play against? Essentially the first sentence has summed up theme of the game. The second sentence should sum up game play and how to win.

Pretty good shot of the game board showing it during play.

Then you go into specifics of how the cards work, which probably isn't necessary. The second paragraph which describes the Tale cards could probably be summed up:

"Players have a hand of cards which they use for combat (movement?) and to activate the abilities on their character cards."

Regarding the characters cards, how many does a player control in the game? 4 as shown in the image?

"Players control 4 characters, and choose one to activate each turn, moving that token, searching for treasure and fighting their foes."

I mean that's a bit generic, but I'm not sure of the specifics. The note about double sided cards I would move into the bullet points to the side.

Components, I would probably split up a bit more. I'm not sure what the 6 type of tokens are, and if they need mentioning individually, but I would certainly split up "Double sided Character Cards" and "Tale Cards", because that tells me a lot about the game.

The features (or most of them) you have listed I might retitle Game Categories.

Hope that has helped.
Shane

Do you aim at younger audience with fairy-tale theme?

Some good clarification in there now. But it has revealed another question; What are the Mist cards for?

Okay, do you have to defeat your opponents to gain their treasure, or do you hide your treasure in the forest somewhere and have to find where your opponents have hidden theirs? Sorry for all the questions. It might have been easier to ask if you had a link to the rules. :-)

Is the phrase even needed? Why mention dice if they're not part of the play--or do games you identify as primary competition rely (perhaps too much) on dice? Stay positive if you can, don't focus on absence of a negative.

You said questions are good: a publisher asks, "It says two or four players--teams of two, I assume. Do you have a one vs. two variant in the rules? In development?"

Publisher might not care too much about 1v2, but may care about the team behind the game, how you respond.