Writing a boardgame Pitch

Get someone who has never heard of your game before to read the pitch.

I'm not getting enough information from this post.

-Where are you pitching to? Kickstarter? A game company?
-Do you have a prototype or are you just pitching the idea?
-Why "a few days"? Is there a contest?
-What kind of game is it?

I can't really asses what you need unless I get the necessary information.

I read over the pitch and it's TBH very BAD. Nobody is going to want to SELL a game where "Players rinse and repeat until they have enough money to win the game (in the standard game mode)."

Never say "rinse and repeat"... it gives the game a BORING feel that it's sort of like "Monopoly".

2nd point: the format sucks.

All you are doing is stating what the game IS. I don't care... I want to be DAZZLED, THRILLED, MOVED, or whatever type of strong emotion.

You should INVESTIGATE "SELL SHEETS". Google "sell sheet board game".

Here is a GOOD sample:

The REASON it's called a "SELL SHEET" because it's supposed to SELL the game... To the consumer, a publisher, etc.

I like this sell sheet because it STATES the game's MECHANICS... That's cool ... to somebody that KNOWS board games - this talks to me a lot!

Note: A pretty picture says 1,000 words...

Note #2: Yeah I'm not impressed by the game either... But the "sell sheet" is really well done.

Like you said, all you are doing is explaining what players do in your game.

If you examine the attached "Sell Sheets" you'll notice IMPORTANT information for the consumers of said "Sell Sheets".

A> You need to specify the # of players
B> You need to indicate the average amount of time for playing
C> You also need to say the youngest age for play

Next, although not all sheets have this, most have a list of COMPONENTs. So a publisher can figure out how many parts this game has... to approximate the cost of producing the game outright.

Now for your hook, it should be something like:

"Make MILLIONS of dollars as you take on role of a Big Time Hollywood Movie Producer (Bigwig)...

Each movie must always consist of 1 Genre, 2 Actors, 1 Director & 1 Location. Try to make the next BLOCKBUSTER in the Movie Studio and showcase it in Cinemas/Theatres around to the World!

But what is the fate of your movie??? Will it obtain critical FAME or will it die in flames?! This all depends on the Critics and their movie reviews..."

That should be good enough for a HOOK. You understand what I mean??? You can reword it - but try to illicit some form of "Oohhs & Aahhs" (emotion) from your hook... Don't just rattle off how the game is played... This is what I would consider a BETTER HOOK. It makes you think about all kinds of movies and good or bad, and the role of a movie producer...

I would next ADD a big picture of a prototype (if you have one). Omitting this is like forgetting to put icing sugar on the cake. Yeah the cake may be GOOD - but the picture makes the Sell Sheet "GREAT". Even if it is only Black & White components - the idea is to show something. You already have a board, set it up as if it was mid-way in play ... for example...

Lastly I would TRY to add what people call "Features". What are the Features in your game? (Check out the 2nd sell sheet: Drill, Baby, Drill)

Hope this gives you some ideas on HOW to approach the idea. And maybe the Sell Sheet is BETTER than the game... When working with a Publisher, they will re-examine the game and modify it as they see required.

You're just PITCHING the IDEA... "This is what my game is about!" And try to hook them based on the pitch...

I am working on an elevator pitch that needs to be about 10 seconds for a contest... here is what I have so far

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Alien Overrun is a cooperative game for 1-4 players ages 12 and up and is played in about 120 minutes. The game features exploration, resource gathering, press-your-luck dice combat, a random hex based board, an escalating countdown timer, and a boss battle with the Alien Queen herself.

In Alien Overrun you are a member of an elite combat and repair unit operating on the edge of known space. Whenever aliens overrun an outpost or mining facility your team gets the call. Your mission: rid the base of alien presence and repair the damaged reactor core before it goes critical.

eXplore - eXploit - eXterminate

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Thoughts?

=MJ=

p.s. Also feel free to comment on the rules. I am currently in the middle of cleaning them up.

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1tihvs4kkvEdSH1G1dKsFTKAAQsuyZ4lEZ3_N...

In my mind it is not a true 4X as you are exploring the mining base to find the resources and hexes where you can use the materials you gather to upgrade your mining rigs so that they can combat the alien threat. I am not sure it really fits the "eXpand" that I associate with area control games. Although I suppose it is a bit area control like as you are taking the area away from the aliens or more correctly they are taking it away from you as the game goes on.

The first 3rd of the game is really exploring the base and fighting off minor alien threats. The second third is using materials found in the base to build up your mining rig's weapons while facing an ever increasing threat, and finally the last 3rd is making the push to kill the alien Queen. Although there is an overlap on those three but seems you spend about an equal amount of turns doing each.

Yes it starts out at nil or (just a few aliens based on difficulty level you wish to play) and grows from their so I guess ea it falls under 4X although not traditional euro 4X but somehow a twisted co-op 4X..