Hey guys. Anyone care to proofread my rulebook?
I feel like my game is settling down; I've been working on it every now and again for the last two years. I only play it with family ocassionally, so it definitely needs more playtesting. But before I start dishing out copies, I figured a solid rulebook would really help.
The game is a 2 player abstract with a light oriental theme. It's played with 28 wooden disks on a hexagon grid board. It's a bit like chess and a bit like stratego, but obviously it's better than both. (Ha!) Each piece is built from 2 disks, a body and a character. The body broadly determines how it can move and what pieces it can capture, but the character (which is hidden from your opponent) changes this drastically.
To give you an idea of what the components would look like, I've attached some graphics that I have been working on. The pieces are in this case stickers which would be put on wooden disks.
So if you're interested in proofreading, I would really appreciate it. I'm most interested in things that are not clear after reading and sentences that should be rephrased, but if you spot anything else, please let me know as well. The only thing that is currently jarring me is the word "gentle"; I put it in more as a placeholder than anything else. I'm looking for an adjective that is a bit like "tranquil", or perhaps something completely different.
Thanks in advance.
Nice to hear you're interested, that's really motivating.
Hmm, but wouldn't "neutral" suggest that they're not owned by a player? I first thought of synonyms of "peaceful", but they would all suggest that the pieces don't capture other pieces, which they do. Maybe "diplomatic"? The idea being that the crude violent pieces cannot enter the Garden, but the more cunning, diplomatic pieces, including the Empress, can.
Ah, I agree, the rulebook lacks illustrations and examples. I think especially the way the Monkey moves and the various rules of the characters can benefit from an illustration.
The extra colors are just to add flavour. The intention was of making it look like a map. I was even thinking of getting an artist to draw a full map, and then overlaying the hexes (and keeping the important tiles clearly highlighted). But perhaps a simple red-white-green or red-white-blue-green board would be more clear.
Yes, an illustration of the animal on the pieces is definitely what I am looking for. I just can't draw so I've went with letters instead, until I find an artist. But adding more text on the piece itself seems like a bad idea; it would really clutter the relatively small pieces. Players do have a reference sheet that I forgot to upload. It has a brief overview of all the pieces and their rules.
Hmm. Giving the Emperor an extra ability might be a good idea. One of the biggest flaws the game had that I noticed was the 'surprise endings'. In previous versions of the game, losing your Emperor would lose you the game, and you would sometimes accidentally leave your Emperor vulnerable and the other player would accidentally win. Quite unsatisfying.
But then again, the other player does have a Strategist that he can use to screen potential Emperors, and sometimes you can guess what the Emperor is based on the way the player protects it (then again, that can be a bluff). I'm not sure, but I like the suggestion.
The game plays a bit like a game of chess, I suppose. Depending on the level of thought you are willing to invest, turns can take 2 seconds or they can take a minute. Usually it's something like 10 seconds of contemplation. I think a game lasts around 20 to 30 minutes.
I haven't playtested it enough for my liking, so there might be ways to stalemate, but usually both players end up with 2 or 3 pieces, at which point it becomes really difficult to capture a piece. At that point, any player that has an Emperor will try and get it across. Some games end earlier because they managed to sneak an Emperor in, and some games end because at some point, one player managed to have more pieces than the other, and they exchange pieces which keeps the game in that players advantage.
Stalemates are definitely a concern, which is one of the main reasons I would love for more people to playtest it.