Is anything uncler in these rules? Looking for help

The rules would benefit from a thorough review by an editor to fix the typos, grammar, etc. For example, there are punctuation errors throughout and multiple instances of incorrect grammar/spelling, missing/extra spaces, paragraphs/headings not aligned, etc. I won't list them here because you really need an editor to work with you on the document to clean it up. Certainly the artwork and presentation is of such high quality that you don't want typos to detract from the player's impression of the game.

However, some feedback on the rules themselves:

- It is not clear what happens to spells once you use them. Is the card discarded after use?

- The Game Round on page 6 identifies 4 phases, but phase 4 is never explained in the text.

- Inconsistency of "movement tokens" (page 6) vs "tactics tokens" (elsewhere).

- Inconsistency of "army phase" (page 6) vs "tactics phase" (elsewhere).

- I couldn't figure out how much a Settlement costs to build (page 6).

- Recruitment: I couldn't find where the term "population cost" is not explained. Also the sentence in which it is used is unclear. Does it mean that if the population is 3 then I can build 3 units? Do they have to be the same type or can I mix-n-match?

- Page 11: I don't recall seeing the term "Supply" anywhere else previously. What does it mean?

- Page 11: Does "granary" mean "village"?

- Moving through elemental gates: It is unclear if moving through an elemental gate is considered a free move, or does it cost your move action? Also, since it is optional, in which order is this decision made (since player 1's decision to move through a gate may affect player 2's decision to stay or move)?

- Border combat: Say Armies A and B are fighting each other in a border combat, while army C has moved into Army B's hex. Is army C involved in the border combat or not? If Army A wins the border combat and thus moves into B's hex, does this now initiate a combat with Army C?

- Retreat: Can an army retreat into a hex which contains enemy units? If so, it creates a whole range of complications, because it makes the order of combat resolution important (Army A retreats into a hex in which a combat is already in progress). For the sake of simplicity, it may be worth saying that a unit cannot retreat into a hex containing enemy units.

- Order of combat resolution: More generally, how is the order of combat resolution determined? Even if units cannot retreat onto an enemy-held hex, the order of combat resolution could have a big effect if two enemy armies, each involved in separate battles, want to retreat to the same hex.

- Retreat: Can you retreat through a magic gate?

I hope these comments help.

Regards,
kos

So I was curious. I have some people wanting to playtest my game, which would require me to upload PDF files of my rules and tokens for them to Print out and create. Although I would love to share my games, I'm just wondering if it is a wise idea to upload to someone I dont really know. How do you feel about this when you upload your rulebooks?

Thanks,

Yeah I have to be a little over protective. I had artwork stolen from me in the past and used in a book, and I didn't see one penny, nor did I have any grounds to sue because I never copyrighted the art. Now, for playtesting I want to try and keep it between people I know right now or at small groups if I am there. Im not about to ship my game components off to some random playtester on this site and take that Risk. Yes we are all honest, right, but I have to play it safe. E-maiing all my art and components is not a wise idea.

Thanks for your input!

Thanks! I did that for some of my company work (watermark). Definitely a good idea.
I been meaning to get to your rulebook art but been getting super busy with teaching starting soon, and working on my game while i can. Also teaching my girlfriends kids basic drawing lessons. ALmost like a home schooling. Time is flying way too fast to do everything i want!

well i like the icons you are using for the 'Human Sheet', though maybe some of the icons could be a tad bigger (like the horse in the Supply) section.
The art in the rulebook is all dependant on what you are going for. Are you going for realistic, cartoony, mixed? Are you trying to get good anatomy, poses, etc? If you are going for a more realistic approach then there could be some changes made to a few of the pictures.

I think the front cover works well, with the horseman being in the rule of thirds part of the page. Wondering if that Yeti creature next to the horse could be a tad bigger or even more menacing. If i had time to draw something up i would. By the way, how do you upload images here? I was going to re-draw your goblin dude just for kicks.

The knight on page 4 seems a bit stiff and symetrical. Its a cool straight on pose and a kinght like this shown in a front pose, would probably work better than a 3/4 pose. But he seems symetrical like i said, and maybe a bit obese? Or is that your intention? Knees are a bit pronouced too, or is that armor?
Oh and when i say symmetrical i just mean that sometimes its good to add some asymmetry to the character. If i can figure how to upload an image here i could do a 'draw over' on the image to show you what im thinking of.
You also want to pay attention to a silhouette of a drawgin. Meaning if i made this knight completely black could you still tell what it is? The negative space around the drawing is just as important as the positive space of the drawing. Maybe a good example would be angling the sword sheath out more to break the silhoette better. This is something I talk about alot when teaching character design.

The goblin on page 5 is ok. Itd be cool to get a more exaggerated pose. You could use the same pose, but maybe angle the shoulders back more, the hand and foot towards us could be a tad tad bigger.....so right now i just did a quick sketch of this goblin creature. When i return home this weekend i can scan it in and show you.

The skeleton on the horse - this poses the same question do you want it stylized like this or realistic? If realistic then the anatomy is off. Damn, if i had time i would love to sketch more stuff up to show you. Im not saying anything is wrong at all with the art, depending on what you are going for.

I think the strongest point of your rulebook is your use of icons, symbols, and the layout. I love your layouts.

Remember this is just my opinion from what i teach students and doesnt mean i am right and you have to change anything. Its just what I notice and what i would do myself if i were to change the art. I just did a character sktch of a Wizard. The design process took over a week for this single character - focusing on every detail and design of the character. Making sure all parts of the drawing had some kind of interesting aspects to it. This could even mean the curvature of a robe sleeve, or how much an arm sticks out, or the position of the thumb with a fireball in the characters hand. I spend hours and hours with each drawing i create before its finalize. Then after im finished i dont color the drawing for a few days, JUST in case i have a design change within that time. I hate when i finish something, only to find out a week later I could have design one little aspect a tad better. But at some point I have to let go and move on to the next piece.
Ill be having over 400 drawings for my game, and each drawing will take time designing. I have an Industrial design artist helping me with the art. He doesnt have the style i want for my game, but he does some damn good designs i will be transferring over to my style. So much to do

anyway, i really hope that helps. I only offer my suggestions. I just wish i had the time to really sketch some stuff out. I wil be updating my website over the next few months with art i create for my board game, replacing old art. There is a major style and improvement to my art over the last few years since i put stuff on my site in the illustration section. Working in 3D reallllly has improved my eye for 2D