Rulebook draft

Stream of consciousness coming.

Nice cover page. In fact the layout of the whole book is very good. Nice font, BG and colours. Very easy to read. And the change of BG colour for different sections is a good idea.

Welcome
Love those 2 paragraphs. Great introduction.

Component list should be before Game Set-Up. That way I have "seen" the faction cards and I know there is 4 groups of 15 before I have to get them and find the lore card.

Game Set Up
How do players choose a faction? Random? First in best dressed?

"Place that card in your play area."
You need to define a term like "play area" before you give me an instruction to do something with it.

The other cards, should they be kept face up or down? Shuffled or sorted?

Prepare the lost continent
That actually reads pretty well. Replace "Remove" with "Set aside" and change the first "deal" to "count" or "count out". It's a little bit double handling with replacing one of those cards with the Lost City Ruins, but it's short and to the point.

Guardian Deck
What happens to the Elder Dragon? What does Set Aside mean?

Factions
Is it not important to make the piles equal? Could dealing them out into 3 piles work?

Winning the Game
I think giving the goal (number of prestige points), then explaining how you get prestige points is backwards. If you explain the games action first, and that it results in earning prestige points THEN give the goal, you avoid someone asking themselves, "What's a Prestige Point?"

So, I think the first paragraph should come after the second one, and you need to start with another one which sums up game play.

The third paragraph has a similar problem at the moment. What is my need for income, and how do I earn it? What is the maximum allowed size of my field army, and how do I grow it?

Discovering Lost City Ruins
This seems to be assuming an understanding of the game mechanics that haven't been explained yet. I don't know how to explore or battle and I don't know what "in my control" means. This should either be a briefer summary, or it needs to come after the explanations.

Example set up
Okay, so now I get what you're going for with the Lost Continent cards. The word "deal" is confusing, because it is a short hand to distribute cards to players, especially when you mention earlier in the paragraph, deal 4 cards per player. So, how are the cards meant to be set out. Are they supposed to be square? Should they be in 4 columns, and the number of rows matches the number of players? Does their position matter? Do players move between the cards on their actions, or do they just pick any face down card at random to work with?

I am assuming these questions will be answered as I read the rules, but ideally these specific type of questions shouldn't occur to me as you will have already answered them in the Game Set Up section.

Example Play Area
I think this picture needs to be in the Rules, after you have explained the cards and how they work. Developed areas, standing army, unit reserves ... this just raises a whole new bunch of questions that I'm sure you are about to answer.

Unit Cards
You have used a brand new term here, not mentioned in the Components or the Game Set-up. If these are part of the Faction, then the Faction should probably be spelled out in more detail. If this is synonymous to Faction Cards, then you need to pick one to use exclusively.

You also seem to be explaining how battles work, or armies are built to attack other players, but before you have explained how you could be in a position to be battling other players. This needs to be explained in the order that I, as a first time player, care about.

You explain Area cards next (another new term), and it really seems that they should be before combat, as I think all battles have to occur on an Area Card (Lost Continent card) in the middle of the table.

But before this, I think a quick overview of the action needs to take place. I want to know what I do with my Faction cards to set up; are they all troop cards for battling, or are there other types of cards; do I keep them all face up or am I drawing from a personal deck? And then, what's the action of the game? I turn over a new Lost Continent card or attack another player on an already exposed one? I want to know how to play before you explain specifically what I need to do to play.

Think I might leave this here for the moment. Hope it's been useful.

Shane

Just skimmed the rules, but for some reason I really like the combat from what i've seen. I'll try to look this one over more closely. After playing Star Wars Destiny, I really like dice/card relationships. Looking forward to understanding this game.