Darn Rulebook!

1) Record a video of you explaining the rules of the game. Put it online. Direct potential publishers to it.

2) Watch the video of you explaining the rules. Make a flowchart that lays out the steps (or "phases") you go through in when explaining the game.

3) Take your flowchart and use it as the outline for writing your rules.

Writing a good rulebook is hard. Using correct and clear languange is important, and an English major can certainly help you out here, but the structure of the rulebook is the most important aspect. It's also important to really understand that it is hard to explain even the most simplest of things, and that you can't cut corners. It seems superfluous to use a quarter of a page just to describe what a "discard pile" is, and what happens when the last card of the deck is drawn, etc, but even this basic stuff has to be explained carefully, lest you confuse your reader.

Some other points:

- Be consistent. Don't call something a "soldier" on one page and an "infantry" on another.
- Use simple words. Use short sentences. Use short paragraphs.
- Don't use flavortext throughout the ruletext. Ruletext is boring, but it's better to be boring than to be confusing.
- Use a lot of examples, preferably with pictures.
- Find the easiest way of explaining a rule. Sometimes you find you have to alter a rule slightly just to make it easier to explain. Sometimes you can even ditch a rule comepletely. Rulebook writing is a great way to get rid of superfluous little rules and clean up your game.
- Make a flowchart of your game. Don't use this in your rulebook, but it gives you a sense of what's a good order to explain things in. If your flowchart is really complex, perhaps the game needs some extra streamlining.
- Start explaining the broad strokes of the game, then refine. Don't go into the nitty-gritty right away. Put exceptions and special rules at the end.
- Don't give strategic advice in the ruletext. You might give a hint in example text, for example "Amy doesn't want to buy the more expensive Locomotive card here, because that would leave her without any money for the auction later on". Otherwise, save strategic advice for a special section later on in the game, if you really need to.
- Don't overexplain the obvious. This might lead a reader to think they missed something.

Finally, I want to stress again that you shouldn't underestimate ruleswriting. My Gheos rulebook, which at the surface looks like a fairly straightforward game, still needs 12 pages to explain properly. We took great pains to explain some tricky concepts in a clear and non-ambiguous way. Having a fun game is nice, but if you cannot communicate it's rules properly, it won't ever go anywhere.

Start a thread here or on the geek.

Just say that you want to hire a rulebook writer, give an offer so people know that you expect a certain level of professionalism. Game details are nice but not needed. Finish with a deadline and a way to contact you.

simpson

Also, be sure to link that thread on this one, so people who are reading this thread know where to go if they are interested in discussing this with you. (Me, for instance.)

Definitely don't hire politicians to write your rulebooks!

My impression of the rules are that you are giving me (the player) information but I have no idea what is important or not. This in-turn is blending all the information together into a dense mass of "wait, what?" for me.

What I am noticing is that the sentences carry too much in them. Let's look at one:

- You introduce several game terms (Temple Card, Scarabs, and Jars) without any reference to what they are. You know the game terms inside & out but a new player doesn't. Don't move on to the next game term till you have explained what the last one means.

- You give several examples of game tenses (will place, which can, at the end). From the example sentence, I don't know for sure if Temple Cards become Jars or not. I can guess but as a player I would rather know.

Advice: Give each idea its own sentence to breathe.

The usual outline I use for writing rulebooks
===============================
Game Overview
This is the HOOK, or what will be seen on the back of the game box to "sell" the game.

Gameplay
This is the game simplified into a sentence or two. What players do and how they win.

Playing Pieces
This is an introduction to EACH game piece so that a player is acquainted with what the pieces are BEFORE setup.

Setup
This is directions to WHERE playing pieces need to be setup (you are setting up the game NOT the player).

Basics
This is basics of game play -- telling players HOW game pieces can be used along with mechanics with the game. You DO NOT SUGGEST how to play but you may include exceptions to the rules at the end of basics. This is where you use lots of visuals and examples of game play.

Winning The Game
This is an explanation to the players on the end conditions of the game (so they know when to quit) as well as scoring conditions (so they can track and tally their scores).
===============================

simpson

http://www.iggamecenter.com/info/en/rules.html

Go there.
Read some rules, including the ones for games that I have made (Shintai and TriGo).
I am NOT perfect, but these rulesets are outlined well and Arty does a pretty good job (sometimes translating doesn't work out, but I have fixed that in the past).

Whenever I make a new ruleset, I copy and paste what he's done. Making the rules can be the most tedious part of game design, even when your game has only like 2 rules (like Shintai).

OK, here are some comments.

Page 1.
* Start with number of players, playing time and game contents.
* The thematic blurb should be shorter. I lost my interest halfway.
* The game overview is too long and goes into specifics too much. Stick to what the game is about in general terms. What are players supposed to be doing and how do they win? I don't yet want to know about active boxes, new boxes and when I can play cards there and when not, etc. I have read the game overview several times and I still don't know what the game is about. This part needs some serious rewriting.
* Don't put "[player card]" after "temple card". Use one term and stick with it.

Page 2.
* Setup. The first line belongs on page 1. The second line "Each player..." can be shortened to "Each player receives one Temple card and places it face up in front of him". What this card is for can wait until later, just stick to setting up the game for now.
* The deck of remaining cards becomes a drawing pile, I suppose?
* The second paragraph doesn't belong in "set up". It needs its own header: "Game Play". Also, I want a bit more in-depth view of what the game's structure looks like. Something like: "The game consists of three rounds. At the start of each round there's an auction for the Seth-card. Then players take their turns in clockwise order. A player's turn consists of three phases: draw, place new, active to jar and new to active".
* I'm wondering if the phases need more descriptive names. Draw cards, that much is evident. Place new what? What active to jar? And what kind of new things go to the active what?
* Is the bidding once around? If not, what happens when a player doesn't bid, can he re-enter the bidding again later on?
* Does a round start with a single auction, and then each player in turn take their actions? Or is there an auction round before each player's turn? I suppose the former, but I can't be sure.
* Draw and place new. I would rewrite this as follows: "At the start of your turn you draw two cards if there are no cards on your Active Box (see picture), otherwise you draw just one card". It follows that this is mandatory so you can leave that out. By the way, what if the draw pile is empty? Reshuffle discard pile and this becomes new draw pile?
* Draw and place new. I would leave out the part about there not being a hand limit. I would move the part about returning all cards to a later part of the rules (clean-up at end of round). This is the "draw card" section, so stick to that.
* I would seperate the "draw" and "place new" sections, because they are different phases. They need their own paragraphs, for consistency.

Game Overview: Still too long. Trim it to 2-3 sentences. Focus on WHAT ROLE the player will take during the game. As it is right now, its hard to tell if you play a god, a pharaoh, a funeral servant...

Gameplay: Too short. Focus on WHAT MECHANICS the player will use during the game (set collection, hand management, area control, etc...).

Playing Pieces: Not bad but a description for each would be better so that a player can reference it as he's reading the game instructions.

Setup: You don't have one.

Basics: Go through a player's turn that happens normally -- no more, no less. After a player action, use an example. At the end of basics, go through rule exceptions, using examples. Use a recurring example to keep it simple and flowing.

Design Advice:
Keep rules in a non-fancy sans serif font.
Italicize examples and keywords.
Use headers.
Two-column layout are prefered.
Only headers should be Bold or UPPERCASE

Editorial Advice:
Never include "Notes:".
Add a definition when you use 'quoted term'

simpson

Alright, it's beginning to look a little better to me. I have one major piece of advice now: SUBDIVIDE YOUR SECTIONS. The meandering storytelling method DOES NOT WORK. Use blank space or big font to emphasize points (also, you may want to use a different, less stylized font - a Roman-style one might work with the theme properly).

Let's go back to objective:

"The player with the most pharaohs at the end of three rounds is the winner."

There you go. Jargon, duration, and the word "winner."

Hit return twice and start the Setup section.

Don't even start to explain how to get pharaohs because it's part of the details - people just need to know 'hey, I need pharaohs.' In other words, pharaoh = VP.

That rulebook is terrible! (At least my 2007 ed. is)

Glad to see you're getting help, though, Traz!

:)

Someone should email this thread to fantasy flight games. Every game of theirs I have ever played had rules written by 2 trained chimps on an all night bender.