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Wed, 01/25/2012 - 10:35
Wagydan
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Joined: 02/16/2010

Hello all,

It has been a while since I was last here. That is because I have spend the lion's share of my time developing my board game Ortus. If all goes well, it will be released during Essen this year.

My question to you is, could you take a look at the new rulebook I wrote? It's here:

http://www.fablesmith.com/Ortus/OrtusRulebook.pdf

The pictures in it still have the generic playing pieces which will be replaced with nicer Weeples (as in warrior meeples). I'm currently working on these weeples, so you can expect a new post of me asking for help on that.

For now, could you comment on the content of the rulebook, the layout and the theme? Do you like the artwork? Would you be interested to play the game? Would you be able to play from reading the rules or not?

Any comment would be very welcome.

Greetings,

Joost

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Wed, 01/25/2012 - 12:35
#1
Cogentesque
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Joined: 08/17/2011
Joost, First of all, I didn't

Joost,

First of all, I didn't read anything and only skipped through it all for visual elements only. Your logo is Beautiful and I love the huge splash on page one.

Perhaps you could use some clever embellishment like the brush strokes for the bottom right corner on every page? Just something "cool".

The title font is cracking. really nice.

The paragraph font is not quite right. It is too swirly and not really suitable for a "manual wall of text" kinda deal. Perhaps find a more relaced font? I would suggest a clever sans-serif font if you can find one. But keep the titles and all as they are.

Every now and then there are some illustrative (yeah; words!) pieces that decorate it. I like these. But it creates a little biut of a jarring effect when one picture is beautifully painted (the fire picture thing) and the other is quite jutting (the pole thing?) and still others are not quite right (the cross blades)

Some of your tables (last page) are a little jagged and need a bit of love. Perhaps give the right side text page a bit of a bigger margin as well.

The fire chain thing is splitting the "Dragons" title.

Put some more padding (eg a bigger gap) between the pictures and their respective Captions (and again between the captions and the next picture border)

the fan's shadow is a little off - not quite sure though, maybe try it without?

All the boxes feel a little weird to me. It might just be how they look - if so, fair enough. But they kind of interrupt the Zen flow of it otherwise (angles and what not) but this might not be changaeble - fair enough if that is the case.

the yellow box has some wierd shadowing that the blue and green do not.

The circular pictures, and some of the layout (first page when they are floaitng above the black line with the white text) and the "wind", "earth" etc brush writing is stellar. Really lovely :)

hope ive helped

sam

:)

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Wed, 01/25/2012 - 16:40
#2
Wagydan
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Joined: 02/16/2010
Hello Sam, Wow, that is a

Hello Sam,

Wow, that is a very elaborate reply. Thank you very much for going so in depth on this.
It is all very useful and thank you for the positive remarks on the artwork. I'll have a better reply for you soon, for now I'm falling asleep on key board.

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Fri, 01/27/2012 - 10:06
#3
Wagydan
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Joined: 02/16/2010
New

Hello Sam,

I've been working on almost all your suggestions and some of others. The new rules are here if you are still interested:

http://www.fablesmith.com/Ortus/OrtusRulebookNew.pdf

The boxes you've talked about are placeholders for the dice icons. I don't know what the dice will look like eventually, so these will have to do for now.

The tables etc, will get some love indeed. Whenever they deserve it.

To everyone else, please have a look at the link and tell me what you think. Loads of thank you's in advance.

Joost

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