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Kickstarter Preview Link - looking for feedback

7 replies [Last post]
Tue, 04/28/2015 - 13:06
danieledeming
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Hello again friends...I'm getting close to launching my project on KS and was hoping to get some feedback on the page. Am I missing anything? What can be better? Should I remove anything? Do I need to reword anything?

Any insight is appreciated - and thank you!

Something to mention - I do not plan to add any reviews, so no need to mention them.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/1765828182/60289755?token=6baae43f

*Note* I still need to upload the gameplay overview video - should be on there by Wednesday if you check back, just need to finish editing it.

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Tue, 04/28/2015 - 14:05
#1
Soulfinger
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I don't understand "the

I don't understand "the twist." It is a "press-your-luck style dice game with a twist," and that twist is that the other players are competing against each other? That isn't a twist at all.

The order of your Risks and Challenges section needs to be flipped, leading with "This is a project that I believe in . . ." It could also be more convincing. When I read something vague, like "I have a background in logistics and shipping," I assume that means selling items on eBay or shipping CDs for the Mike Mckay band. If you mean that you've held a corporate position managing these facets of operation or have some other qualification then it never hurts to be specific. Any sort of professional qualification should also be the first thing that you list.

My goodness man, don't state "I drink" as a risk on your KS. I get what you were going for, but people are going to misread it as "I blame Murphy. And I drink." Risks and challenges is the last place to be flippant. Rephrase #2. "If you've never heard of Jamey Stegmaier, just know that I have" is patronizing at best, but conveys nothing to backers unfamiliar with Stegmaier. You could bundle #1 and #2 together, that you have been an attentive backer working to fine tune your KS skills by studying at the feet of the masters.

This game would go over exceptionally well with Wiccans and the Scandinavian Black Metal crowd, so make sure to drop plenty of announcements on their forums. Not quite light-hearted enough for people that bought into "Playing Gods," and it doesn't look irreverent enough to pull in the New Atheist crowd, though I could see it selling to seminarians on account of that. I'm very curious to know what sort of people ends up buying into this.

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Tue, 04/28/2015 - 19:59
#2
-Eberhardt-
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Suggestions w/ Links

Dan:

Good afternoon/evening. I'd like to offer a suggestion and it's just that. :)

URL: https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/elanlee/exploding-kittens/description

I've linked Exploding Kittens for 1 reason, I love how they simplify the game play with graphics:

How it works (Section)
Do this
Take that
This happens
BANG

I've seen this work quite well with other KS campaigns and if I was any type of graphic designer or artist I'd do this for me, but I think I'll need to employ someone. LOL

Seriously though I'd consider a layout similar to this it draws someone into a campaign as they can visually see what is occurring, how it works, etc.

Additionally you can also layout your backer levels in the same manner. Wizards of the Wild did it somewhat well, but another I backed further back did it better, just can't currently remember. Linked Wizards below to help you see.

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/872048165/wizards-of-the-wild-the-c...

I hope these help you mate and I wish you great success. :)

Jon

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Wed, 04/29/2015 - 00:26
#3
Soulfinger
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Just keep in mind that

Just keep in mind that Exploding Kittens didn't succeed on account of its mechanics or quality, so it is a skewed comparison unless you likewise have a huge Internet celebrity handy to lend his name and illustrations to the project.

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Wed, 04/29/2015 - 10:08
#4
danieledeming
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Oh, definitely, I've got

Oh, definitely, I've got David after Dentist all lined up...

Jon - thanks for the suggestion. I've seen that in other projects and I like the way it works as long as it's not too lengthy. I'll break out my digital quill and give it a shot this week.

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Wed, 04/29/2015 - 15:10
#5
-Eberhardt-
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Soulfinger wrote:Just keep in

Soulfinger wrote:
Just keep in mind that Exploding Kittens didn't succeed on account of its mechanics or quality, so it is a skewed comparison unless you likewise have a huge Internet celebrity handy to lend his name and illustrations to the project.

Lol I know Soul I know I was pointing out a layout nothing more. :)

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Thu, 04/30/2015 - 04:59
#6
The Professor
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A few more items...

Dan,

Both Jon and Soul have provided you with some very constructive feedback, so I won't tread upon the same ground.

The video is less than 2 min long, and as I have heard of Jamey (and others), that's a perfect length. However, it is a bit grainy and as your cards look stunning, show more of them and less of you. Again, people are backing the game and want to see more and more elements. Talk about the custom dice as the faces are beautifully intricate Celtic Knots and Patterns...tell us more.

I agree with you in terms of keeping the Reward Levels to a extremely limited number. I've run two KS projects in the past, and I owe my success to a sensible tiering system. It's great to mention that you have Stretch Goals in mind, but first remain focused on getting funded.

Finally, market, market, market...before Day 1 and pushing the green Launch button, you should already have a significant number of people with whom you've discussed this project and they're ready to become a Backer. Ignore the "haters" in the community and stay committed to those who share your dream!

Cheers,
Joe

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Thu, 04/30/2015 - 08:02
#7
danieledeming
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Joe - thank you for the kind

Joe - thank you for the kind words. Showing more of the pieces/cards has been mentioned before so I definitely need to get them in the spotlight! Looks like I have a busy weekend ahead...

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