Frencils | Playable Pencils

Not saying this is necessary, just a psychological trick. Where it states "...if that player doesn't have any remaining pencils, they lose the game." ends in a negative. Okay for the rules, but since you're trying to market it, probably better to give a positive. Something like "...if that player doesn't have any remaining pencils, the other player Wins!"

Just thinking out loud.

"If your opponent has run out of pencils, you win!!!"

Oh no ... He wants to change the NAME!!! And then I was like... "Hmm... Maybe 'Battle Pencils' isn't the best of name...?"

Something came to mind. Your are "DUELLING"... So maybe "ANIMAL DUELS"???

Or checking on Thesaurus.com ... I came up with a couple interesting alternatives for "DUEL":

1. "Clash"

2. "War"

3. "Brawl"

Doing the same exercise for "ANIMAL" I came up with these:

A> "Beastly"

B> "Savage"

C> "Critters"

D> "Cattle"

Putting those together I get:

#99: "Savage Wars"

#98: "Beastly Clash"

#97: "Beastie Brawl"

And the winner is... ??? Given some synonyms and my own "thinking" ... That what I got! More below too following further reflection. Cheers.

#96: "Critter Clash"

I like kids code: "Are we going to 'Clash' tomorrow?!"

#95: "Savage Critters"

(Those are some that have just pop-ed into my mind...)

#94: "Carbon Duels"

A little more esoteric ... Graphite is a form of "Carbon".

#93: "Cattle Duels"

Maybe more "farmish"/Animal like...

#92: "Cattle Battle"

It's rhyme time! lol If others come time mind... "LEAD" as in Pencil Leads came to mind... But nothing as of yet (in terms of names...)

#91: "Cattle Draft"

This one is a bit "heady". Yes "cattle" = animals. But Draft could be like you are "drafting" something (using a pencil)...

#90: "Scribble Wars"

#89: "Battle Scribes"

As in "to transcribe" or people who write (eg. Scribes).

#88: "Animal Scribes"

I think this version is more understandable (animal vs. battle).

#87: "Ranch Wars"

#86: "Wrangler ???"

I like the term ... But have no clue what to pair it with...

#85: "Gaucho Marks"

This is a strong play on words... A Gaucho is like a Cowboy or herder and Marks ... Well the pencils make "Marks"!

#84: "Cattleman Wars"

Herding is the key... Maybe an abbreviated version: "Cattle Wars"...

#83: "Safari Duels"

This one is really original. Like animals like Giraffe or Lions are pretty good too.

#82: "Safari Wars"

This is a variant ... Instead of DUELS, I opted for Wars.

#81: "Safari Battles"

Another variant.

#80: "Zoo Keepers"

I like this one too... I don't have any variant ... But the NAME is one of my better suggestions.

Choice #1: I personally like "Critter Clash", "Safari Wars" and "Zoo Keepers" the best... So far those TBH are my best picks.

I don't know what their criteria was for "qualifying". But I thought that this game deserved a CHANCE. It's so "elegant" and "simple" ... It uses a tool that kids use in school every day. So why not during a break ... The kids break-out some pencils and "Battle" a couple rounds!

This reminds me a lot about "Tradewars" (before "TradeWorlds"). I sold about $800 USD worth of stock (I believe 30+ games) ... And then nothing more. It took me discussing with my Developer at that time (Joseph Pilkus III @The Professor) that he could maybe approach the designers of "Tau Ceti". Mike immediately took an interest and we were off-to-the-races.

Don't give up on this IDEA. You need to find the RIGHT person for this. A mom on the PTA board or a local fair in your neck-of-the-woods in LATE August (before school starts in September)...

I agree ... This is a good direction too. "Battle Pencils" works in that vein... I would keep the name TBH.

Note #1: I don't know if you have a local Fair nearby during the pre-school months (August and September) ... I know of a mom who would sell "school supplies" at the local fair. She's quite the "hustler" and she used to make reasonable money doing so. Unfortunately I have lost touch with her and her family.

But knowing this... Could maybe interest KIDS at a fair (because usually there is not much for kids at fairs)... A Kiosk of Battle Pencils could maybe cost you a little and you could sell to KIDS. Maybe make one SET and sell 3 pencils for $2.00 USD. Pencils (standard ones) sell for $0.10 USD each... something affordable for the KIDS. It's still a BIG markup (6x) ... But they are SPECIALIZED pencils...!

In my neck-of-the-woods the pencils would need to be BILINGUAL. So I can't really help you much.

You can USE them as a PLATFORM to ROLL your PENCILS! So you put the binder down on a desk or table, and then you put your PENCIL above the top cover and drop it... And then it rolls down the Binder and falls onto the table (or desk)... stopping as it reaches the surface below.

Because binders are a bit ANGLED unless they are full ... But even then usually there is an angle... Just the pencil will roll slower...

Anyways you can "show-off the gimmick" for kids to see the pencils roll down and stop on the table below revealing the "value" of your "roll"!

This gives added value to the Binder ... While any binder will do, the cool thing is to have a "Battle Pencils" "Official Binder" to suit your character.

Best!

If your FIRST Year has only two (2) Product SKUs:

1. The Binders with the Custom Covers and you can have BLACK, BLUE, RED and PINK binders (for girls and boys).

2. The 5-Pack Pencils

That's YEAR #1.

In your SECOND Year you can ADD a Product SKU:

3. Arenas/Notebook Separators

And this could be like 5 different "arenas" and "subject dividers" which could probably cost $1.00 USD to make and you can SELL for $5.00 USD and make some extra money from ALL the customer who bought into the FIRST year concept ... But have come back and NOW you have something else for them!

Not to mention in Year #2 you release a NEW set of 5 Pencils to buy and use/collect. So another $5.00 USD meaning that return customers could be looking at $10.00 USD to be current with the game!

TBH this could be a real business which generates some REAL revenue.

And making it a REALITY could help PITCH the project to other players in the business. If you can keep growing the concept from YEAR to YEAR with maybe ONLY ONE (1) NEW SKU per year... You've got a growing business with the possibility of re-occurring sales.

Cheers Gregg (@JewellGames) ... Just offering your some perspective.

I am not driven by money. But IF we enjoy "working" with people like Artists, Illustrators, Graphic Designers and Fiction Writers ... Well it costs money to "contract" all these people out. So IF you want to continue in this business... You need to find ways to make "revenue". You don't have to make $100k a year ... But if you have a mortgage or a small family, you need to bring in monies to sustain your expenses and living.

Saying something like you can make $24k in about 100 days or less... Is just a way of approximating possible revenues that are REALISTIC and can be understandable.

So if anyone thinks that I am driven by money ... The answer is: "Yes, we all need to make money if we are expected to pay our mortgages, pay our car leases, pay for food, etc." And if you primary source of revenue is MAKING games... Well congrats to you... If you can make ends-meet. That is amazing and you are one super person.

We also have more projects we want to bring to market. Again more monies required to get the right people on-board and all the time and effort put into these concepts... IF we are not doing this as a "Hobby" ... Well then money needs to be "talked about" and put into the "equation" in: "How well can a concept sell and where can I sell it???"

So my goal is to convince everyone ... That if you have a concept YOU believe will work... PROVE IT. Don't spend 10 years of your life designing something that you know will never come to market. Spend a year or two doing that... And then TRY to see IF you can finance it and earn something with it.

That's the TRUE proof-in-the-pudding. Trying to make it happen... And seeing if you can be capable of making the concept work for you and your Family. We all have obligations... I personally think if you can MAKE something and make a LIVING off of it... You'll probably be more happy than if you work a 9:00 to 5:00 job each and everyday.

Again that's only my POV. Others may feel differently. Cheers!

Is this for the Sell Sheet? Or for the rulebook?? I think these are to replace some of the sketches on the Sell Sheet, right???

They look very good so far. Are they going to be colored or just black outline (to give it a more "sketched" out look)?!

Best of luck with the "concept". I didn't want to say "Game" because they are also pencils and so it sounds more like a "premium product" so I used the term "concept". Cheers!

I think your font choices and the copy you added specifically about licensing make this much stronger.

Dr. Lew mentions in one of his video lectures that "kids nowadays," don't create the stories themselves anymore. Instead, it's licensed properties and IP that children participate in. Like all the licensed LEGO bricks sets out there, a set of -Battle Pencils- would be infinitely more attractive to the younger student if it had characters they knew of and enjoyed.

I have young nephews, and I know that since they grew up with programs like "Paw Patrol" and "Pippa Pig" and more recently shows like "Teen Titans Go" they would definitely enjoy seeing the characters they know on their school supplies.

Apologies in advance if you don't want this kind of direct criticism.

Personally speaking, (as in, this is all my individual opinion)I think your recent move to Petcils - although the name is a clever play on words - is a move in the wrong direction.

• The concept of the battling pencils is removed from the game name, which initially told us "what it is and what it does."
• It now limits the licenses that are amenable to the name. For example, super heroes - licensed or otherwise - are no longer consistent with something so close to animals.
• Your game is now considered just school supplies with an animal theme tacked-on, and the game aspect is no longer obvious. If anyone manufactures Pokemon or Yu Gi Oh pencils, you are likely seen as a knock-off of them even when they lack your battle concept.

I do agree that it does seem more family-friendly. Can you explain what you mean when you say this is more unique? Maybe that's where I have the most issues.

Again, this is strictly my personal opinion and I'm ignorant of your thoughts on why the change should happen. Maybe I just liked the original concept much more than the direction you're now headed, and it's all on me.

The "Battle" may be considered "too confrontational" and parents may NOT want to encourage their kids to be playing "battle-oriented" games. EVEN if that is the very trend of today. Why do I say this?

Because Marvin (from the NerdLab) has his card game "Mind Bug" supported by Richard Garfield. Here is a KS link for those who are curious:

https://www.kickstarter.com/projects/nerdlab-games/mindbug-first-contact

So I understand WHY(?) you might want to separate the pencils from the battl-ing.

But still I thought something like "Carbon Duels" might be a good alternative, it's like "carbon" (lead) and "duels" (inferences battles). Again I'm not telling you to use this name...

I like what "@let-off studios" said ... And I don't think "Petcils" is really leading you where you want to go (Honestly).

I personally like "Battle Pencils" because the nature of the game is explained. Who cares about those pacifist parents who won't buy the game for their kids. If a lot of kids in school start collecting and playing, well maybe they'll be the "late adopters" in the bell curve of NEW and EXCITING products.

One thing that I thought about was the amount of rounds to be played to win a victory. Also the number of pencils required to purchase is another factor. Why do these two (2) aspect "bother" me???

Because it's for kids. Which means it needs to be priced around $5.00 USD. For what??? Maybe three (3) pencils. But this sort of breaks the information on your Sell Sheet which states SIX (6) pencils. It also seems to lean towards too LONG of a game for kids with short attention spans.

So you would have to invest $10.00 USD to get six (6) pencils and play in a way that doesn't bore the players. That is a bit pricey for KIDS.

Also kids might like "Clashing" together by rolling their pencils against each other... "Pencil Clash" is another one of my name ideas...

But I agree... "Petcils" is not the way to go (for certain!) Again this is my opinion but "@let-off studio" seems to agree too.

Hoping you can come back to us with some new and improved ideas by which to market your dueling concept! Cheers.

There doesn't seem like many people making games for them nowadays. People are designing for 18+ crowd with a focus on Board-centric games that display large and very attractive looking center pieces for their games.

But a simple concept like rolling a pair of pencils ... is what? Too simple?! It's for kids dummies. Not strategic enough? It's about the thrill of competition not pure strategy. Not enough depth! There is strategy is which pencils you use to defeat your opponent.

And why is it there seems to be KS BOOM IN GERMANY???!!! What's going on. All the KS Backers seem to be hanging out in Germany and making their creator projects successes. It's like KS maybe 5 years ago (in the USA)!?!?

Meanwhile the USA is doing what? TBH IDK. They say people are staying more at home watching ads that say they can become rich by selling products on Amazon or being affiliates and all kinds of "get-rich-quick" coaches/personas who are telling people to forget working and you should focus on your own business to succeed in the USA nowadays.

It's insane. IDK what to think about it TBH! Sheesh what a World...

Let's for the sake of argument we agree that each pencil has one (1) symbol tied to itself at the very top, just below the character art.

Below it there are symbols six (6) symbols: circle, square, triangle, diamond, heart and star.

At the start of game, players choose their pencil. Everyone the rolls simultaneously their pencil to clash with the others.

Once this is done, the first player choose an opponent to defeat. If there is no one he/she can beat, they are eliminated and MUST sharpen their pencil. Same goes for the player who gets beaten!

Next player to the right clockwise is the next player whose turn it is gets to choose his conquest... Etc.

What this does is that NEW pencils are obviously more POWERFUL because they have all symbols. But each time you are conquered, you become less and less powerful until you require another pencil if one has no more stats...

Either way there is only one player left standing in the end.

This way playing costs something (sharpening of the pencil) and you are effectively permanently WOUNDED!

This is great because it leads to USE and obviously purchasing more pencils! Yay... The circle is complete!

I know this is your game, I'm just trying to make it more exciting for everyone... The publisher who picks this up now sees that there is a reoccurring revenue stream from my proposed enhancements...

I said 6 symbols because I don't know how many you can fit on a pencil... That would be your job to figure out the limit.

Maybe it's 8... So Spade and Clubs...

But you get the idea... You battling and losing makes your Pokemon weaker.

Tell me what you think. Cheers.

P.S.: I'm just trying to make your concept more appealing. I think your version may be too simple and not commercial enough...

This is a GOOD "Sell Sheet" that I've been holding onto for quite some time. This shows you "Mechanics", Components, the goal, the hook (something unique and cool...) Anyhow my point in sharing with you this Sell Sheet is that a Sell Sheet is not meant to describe the method of play. Probably if you manage to describe HOW-TO-PLAY in one page... Most people may think the concept is too simple.

Your GOAL is to SELL the game... NOT explain how it is played. Ideally a GOOD Sell Sheet would leave the impression of more questions than answers. What do I mean about this???

Take for example MY method of play:

Players sharpen their pencils each time they are defeated possibly making their pencil weaker for the next battle.

That would be MY HOOK! Why? Because it explains something INTERESTING about the game:

"So SHARPENING your pencil makes it WEAKER... Hmm... Interesting!"

But this leaves the reader wondering:

"Hmm... I wonder how the pencils get weaker???"

Asking therefore more questions about the game... And increasing their interest in the product/game.

This would greatly improve your sell sheet if you focus on SELLING the CONCEPT not explaining all the details as to how it is played.

Again I just want to help you out... I really LIKE this concept. If I was a SALESMAN, I would offer to Publish your game. But I SUCK at sales. Really not "my cup of tea", I'm a much better DESIGNER.

Best of luck(!?) with your concept. I doubt you need luck ... You just need someone with salesmanship who can buy into it! And more and more, I think ALL of need this too... Hard to find because they are so "independent"!

But I would offer you up another VERSION:

Show both pencils as seen, put in the middle a "Clash Bubble" you can make it Yellow with a Black brush outline and put on one side 72 and on the other 65. Lastly keep the "Crown" at the top of the winning pencil.

Why do I recommend this???

Exactly going to ABSTRACT the HOW and force people to WONDER... Ask themselves a question or two... Like okay somehow they "compare numbers"??? Without explicit references to the two "icons" and arrows going from one to the other.

Try to keep some MYSTERY. Don't give it all away at first glance. Wait for someone to e-mail you ASKING how the point system works.

Again this is YOUR game... Do as YOU see fit. I'm just recommending things because I honestly feel like it's a bit TOO SIMPLE with the existing rules. But the important part is NOT ME, it's what YOUR Publisher will think...! Think about what I am saying and see what you think is best.

Look my Dual Dice got almost 100 Followers BEFORE the KS. Out of that only about 10% became Backers (10/100). My lesson learned is holding back is good. The problem is afterwards when people KNOW the CONCEPT... Are they STILL interested???

That's something I cannot tell. That's the market who will decide.

But again I know you want to keep it simple so do as you see fit... Cheers!

I noticed that each pencil has the SAME Order of symbols. I would propose that in a game where there are symbols to MATCH, the ORDER should be different. Let me explain "why".

Imagine you have Pikachu and his strongest symbol suit is STAR (Yellow). Then the opponent has a Bulbasaur whose strongest symbol suit is SQUARE (Green). The Bulbasaur's LAST symbol would by the SQUARE vs. Pikachu who last symbol is STAR.

Why? I know you kept them in the same order to make it simpler... This is what makes some characters stronger versus others. And because each symbol has 6 values... It's still possible to MAYBE win with a strong roll. And generally speaking you keep the STRONGER Symbols towards the upper-part of the pencil. So the TOP 3 Symbols are stronger than the BOTTOM 3 Symbols but still ... The player can WIN with the bottom 3 Symbols (it's not impossible).

You'd have to figure out a balance ... And I would suggest that each SYMBOL have one TOP VALUE (the highest for that symbol)... So that 6 TOP VALUES which improve the odds of defeating an opponent.

Moreover when you sharpen a pencil, if it loses a SYMBOL ... Then it is weaken because it no longer can battle all 6 other symbols. Which may not matter depending on what pencil each player plays.

But you should be getting that the COMPLEXITY of the design would take form ... However essentially it would be no different than your 2-player rolling.

Again these are just some thoughts.

I just wanted to demonstrate what could be done... I especially like thinking in terms of Pokemon... Because it's a way to see IF you can find someone for the pencils.

What I mean if you get a Licensing Lawyer interested ... He may be able to negotiate a deal with Pokemon Intl. because he is versed in licensing... And you can have a partner who is interested in getting the game OUT-THERE. Maybe even state that:

If you get what I am trying to promote...!