Soldiers! Proofreading

Hi, Ryanfreeberg.

I'll check it out when I have time. A gave it a brief glance --

Since you have a lot of sections, and it's going to be "RPG type game," I'd recommend adding a table of contents.

Be consistent with your layout/bulleting scheme. In some places you use 1. 2. 3, in others you use '-', in others a. b. c, etc. Just keep it consistent.

I'll look more later.

I think the big thing is combat in that there isn't really an initiative order as such. It's not going to change the world of RPGs but it is a little different. I'm not so much going to do a proof read, but a comment on a rule I read.

I'd possibly change the way actions are done, as there will be times that who acts first is important. You do address this in that you use a players agility to decide what happens in what order. In a way I think that there does need to be some initiative order. PLayer A makes a dash for cover. PLayer B shoots at the sole enemy, the enemy shoots at player A.

In this case we need to know who acts first as each has a bearing on the other - hence, we need to know everybody's initiative order, especially in an RPG or other co-operative game.

I'd suggest maybe players get cards based on each of their actions/traits/special abilities. During their turn they play a card with the action they choose to play. That card has a speed value on it, once all cards are revealed, cards go in ascending speed value. Lets go back to our example.

PLayer A plays the Move It card This allows his to move up to his base skill. Speed = 5 (average). he states that he is looking to slide into cover during his move.

Enemy plays Hip Fire with his SMG - Speed 2, Inaccurate 1 - remove 1 from the attack value. The enemy whips up his and fires quickly, but without the steady platform it's a little harder to hit, but luckily his nails PLayer A in the arm, before he gets to cover.

PLayer B - Aimed Shot - Speed 7, Increase or decrease value of hit location by 1. With his aimed shot, PLayer B is too slow to prevent the enemy shooting, but thankfully with the shot he was able to deal a lethal wound to the enemy.

Just a thought.

Unless you actually have a revolutionary feature to show people I recommend not calling it revolutionary.

It's important to focus on the differences when trying to get interest in a game. Work out what about your game is different from other games like it (of which there are maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaany) and make that clear to the reader.